Amaranth
by Rio 2.0
Summary: There is nothing but silence now ... it wasn't supposed to be like this.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, settings, games, or whatever else is implied.**

_According to my knowledge... Amaranth means "Unfading love"_

I know they're scared. They always are. I see it as they run from me, as they scream in fright. I hear them, it echoes in the empty hallways and reverberates in my mind, I can feel their terror. People used to seek me out, find comfort in me and my purpose.

Not anymore.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

_**...Let me sleep forever...**_

Death was supposed to free me from my prison. I was promised an eternal dream, a chance to free myself from my mortal suffering.

In death there is salvation. I should have slept. I should have finally rested. I should have been released. I wish I could dream again. Dream of my desires, dream of what I've been denied...

I want to dream of a distant, peaceful past and a pleasant future, a sanctuary to free me from this hell.

In the beginning there was pain. The tattoos burned me, melted into my skin and burdened me with feelings and emotions that were not my own, would never be my own. I could not carve my own forbidden desires into my flesh, could not release this inner turmoil.

Instead I would create my own world; disappear from this reality through my mind. It was there I could escape. I would dream of endless fields and sunlight. I would dream of _you_ and I would dream of them. Surrounded all around by beautiful flowery fields and peaceful rivers where I could run as much as I wanted, as far as I could.

Slowly, the tattoo grew. Spread across my skin like an uncontrolled river. The burning never stopped and soon even in my dreams I only saw pain and death. There was fire and suffering and I could do nothing but watch as my family, my friends – they all burned.

It hurt enough to see them die the first time.

When I came closer to my eternal sleep, to my freedom, as I said goodbye to the cruel world and was gently lowered into the abyss… I saw you, but I could not reach you. I could never reach you.

I knew these were my final moments. There were no secrets hidden from me. My purpose in life was to provide relief for those overwhelmed by grief. My end would be met in the depths of this shrine and I held no fear for that. Because I knew that soon I would sleep, and I thought that maybe then I'd see everyone in my dreams again.

Maybe I would dream of fields and endless skies, of a childhood long forgotten.

Maybe I would dream of you.

_**I feel like you've been in my dreams for so long**_

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

I may have secretly dreamed of you, yearned for you. I may have called for you in the night, no matter that I felt it was all in vain. I wanted to see you, but you weren't supposed to come.

I saw the dim light, the blue glow from your lantern. I saw your feet as you slowly crept forward. I saw the disbelief in your eyes as you looked upon me. It hurt, to see your reaction. Did you know what had been done to me?

Our eyes met and I saw a glimmer of mutual happiness. All this time I had longed for you, and yet I could not speak. I wanted you to know I was happy too. To see you one last time was truly a gift, one I may not have deserved.

For the first time in a long time, I felt joy. I tried to smile for you; I really did, but the tattoos… Sometimes the pain was greater than even I realized.

I couldn't even speak to you. Not before…

The knife was the first thing I saw. _She followed you. She followed you to the forbidden shrine. _I wanted to scream to warn you but I couldn't even manage a cry before she took you from me.

I have never known more pain than I felt at that moment.

She brought the knife down and you...

You fell.

I gasped silently. It was all I could do.

I could feel the tattoo spreading into my eyes, but it wouldn't alleviate anything. Not now. No one would carry my sorrow. It is my pain, and mine alone, because if it weren't for me, none of this… You wouldn't have… I could have…

Everyone could have been happy.

_**It's all my fault  
That moment, forever in my eyes**_

I can't close my eyes anymore.

I can't escape my reality, because when I try…

When I close my eyes, I see you.

I see that moment. Again and again, I see that dim glow and I want to scream. I want to cry out, to warn you. You don't deserve this. I want to save you…

But I can't even smile.

So I watch, and I suffer.

I'm helpless and I hate it. I would do anything to free myself, to free you…

To save us.

_**I don't want to see anymore**_

I hear the screams of pain and terror. I feel the cold that surrounds me, their cold dead skin in my grasp. I can smell the death, the decaying flesh. I can taste dried blood in my mouth, remnants of a history forgotten by everyone but me. I sense many things…

All I can see is you.

You are dead. Eye's hollow, soulless. It's all I see. Your lifeless body is lying there before me. It's all my fault… Never again will you smile, laugh, or even cry.

I wish I could cry.

They used to tell me that a persons eyes are like a window into their soul, and a mirror to reflect their emotions.

So, look into them.

See this agony.

_**If only I hadn't called him**_

_**Rio:**____Ummm... heh.. I don't have much to say. My first attempt at NOT writing questionable "comedy". It's short like all the others._

**Edit 2011**: With a strange sense of nostalgia, I feel as if I will be going through and editing most of my work here. Starting with this one – because regardless of what I griped about before, I really do want to be able to look back and say "Yeah, I wrote that and it is in public and I'm not ashamed". Not sure how editing works, or if anyone will see this, but oh well.

Doesn't help that I - one hundred percent not lying – visited an old fandom and read one of my own works without realizing it was mine. I should probably re-familiarize myself with them.

(FYI: I thought it was meh)

_**Reviews are still polite.  
**_


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